What I meant when I said I was fine

was:

I know how to wear my grief in heels.

I know how to show up with mascara and momentum

even when my chest is hollow.

I know how to laugh

without letting it crack the dam.

I meant:

I’ve done this before.

Watched a man drift out of orbit

while pretending he was still holding my hand.

I’ve sat across from someone

who said he cared—

but blinked like a stranger

when I started to bleed truth.

I meant:

I knew he was leaving

long before he walked.